


Empty Spaces

by kaeda



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-06
Updated: 2007-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-04 23:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeda/pseuds/kaeda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kakashi is gone, Iruka can see the empty parts of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Spaces

Iruka hates sleeping alone.

He rolls over and frowns at the empty space in his bed, flopping one tan hand over the smooth sheets and pretending with all his might that there's a silver-haired man curled up in that void, the face that intrigues all of Konoha lying bare across the other pillow. He closes his eyes and he can almost feel the smooth in-out flow of breath from his normal bedmate, but then he opens his eyes again and the sensation is gone in the night.

He hates it when Kakashi's on a mission and he has the huge bed all to himself. He doesn't even revel in the fact that if he sprawls full length he can curl his toes around the edge of the bed as he sleeps, and he almost regrets the fact that he won't be woken up five times in the night from random kicks from his bed partner. Kakashi is a restless sleeper, but in his absence he keeps Iruka awake even more.

Iruka gets up the next morning and desperately tries not to look at the second razor lying solemnly on the soapdish near the sink as he shaves. He tries to ignore Kakashi's shampoo in the shower and Kakashi's robe hanging from the hooks behind the door, but he can't miss the fact that there are no strong, nimble fingers to plant feather-light touches along his stomach as he tries to get ready to teach. In the morning, Kakashi is an annoyance and a distraction, constantly causing Iruka to be late, but when Iruka shows up to the Academy on time he simply counts down the days until the early morning struggles begin anew.

He picks up dinner at Ichiraku because he knows he'll see Naruto there, talking loudly over a mouthful of ramen. Tonight he is complaining about Jiraiya and what a perverted layabout he is, and Iruka can't help but smile, thinking of his own perverted layabout. Normally Kakashi would pop out from beside him and ruffle Naruto's hair, make some joking comment before groping Iruka in public just to humiliate him. Iruka misses the blush that would spread down his neck and across his cheeks and the knowing looks that the tenants of Ichiraku would throw him. Naruto plays innocent but Iruka knows deep down inside that the boy isn't as clueless about his two teachers as he acts, and when Naruto sees him standing there forlornly, he pulls out the chair next to him and gestures wildly.

"Iruka-senseiiiiiiiii! Sit with me!" he yells exuberantly. Iruka smiles and has no choice but to do so, since his takeout won't be ready for another couple minutes and he's always had trouble resisting puppy dog looks. Once he sits, Naruto launches into a giant tirade about Sasuke that lasts until Iruka's food is ready. Iruka really doesn't want to return to his empty apartment, knowing he'll just curl up in the overstuffed armchair by the fire and eat his ramen until he wastes hours missing the loud, annoying presence that normally fills his life. There are papers to grade and missions to organize, but Iruka doesn't have the heart for it when Kakashi's not there attacking him with kisses when he least wants them and drawing small kana faces on the tops of important documents.

Iruka finally returns home, eats his ramen, and cleans up the kitchen. He goes to bed and ignores the emptiness until he wakes up in the middle of the night, shaking from a nightmare, to find the other half of his bed cold and that the man he was clutching in his dreams was only air. He always dreams Kakashi's death during his missions and wakes up scared and sweating, overwhelmed by how lonely his life was before he met the other man. They are ninja, they are strong, they are _not supposed to care this much_, but people are people and Iruka is only human. Kakashi has wormed his way into his bed and into his heart and one day, Iruka knows he will lose him. His heart tightens and he curls up around Kakashi's pillow, trying to pretend that it's not cotton and down that he's clutching as he falls back to sleep.

Saturdays are the worst, and Kakashi has been gone two whole weeks. The kitchen is spotless without the jounin's attempts at cooking and the bathroom smells of steam but not of Kakashi's soap, which Iruka can still remember if he thinks hard enough. Iruka can work his shift at the mission desk without being molested every five minutes, and while on normal days he wishes that this could happen, today he would give anything to have one of those annoying, long hands goose him while he's talking to Raidou. His eyes glaze vaguely and the other jounin notices.

"Iruka-sensei," he says. "You should go home. Genma and I can man the desk." Genma makes a face, unhappy about being volunteered, and Iruka shakes his head.

"I'm fine," he replies.

"You should _go home_," Raidou stresses, and suddenly Iruka catches on, shoots up out of his chair and is gone before they have a chance to blink.

He walks home at a fast pace through the Saturday market crowds, resisting the urge to take to the rooftops. If what Raidou implied was true, Kakashi will still be there if he takes five extra minutes and walks like someone ordinary. At the door to his apartment, Iruka fumbles his key and finally gets the lock open, trying to enter as nonchalantly as possible, and yes, there is a familiar shock of silver hair lying draped over the edge of the couch with its owner's face buried in a pink book.

"You're home," Iruka says matter-of-factly, even though his heart's doing a drum routine in his chest and his fingers are tingling with nerves. It shouldn't matter that he's been alone for two weeks but it _does_, and Kakashi looks up at him with one bored eye and puts down his book.

"I'm home," he confirms, and then Iruka can't take it anymore and he is across the room in half a second, shoving Kakashi firmly against the back of the couch, yanking down his mask, and kissing him fiercely. Kakashi makes one half-second yelp of surprise before kissing back with as much enthusiasm as he can muster. Later Iruka will go over his body inch by inch and tally up the new scars and bruises, memorizing every part of him, but for now he is happy to feel warmth on his mouth and hands under his vest rubbing long circles on his back.

After a long second he pulls away, staring down at the man on his couch.

"I was on time for work for _two weeks_," he tells Kakashi, who laughs and traces his fingers along the bumps in Iruka's spine. "The kitchen is _spotless_ and the jounin from the mission desk are finally starting to respect me because I don't _yelp_ while talking to them, and my papers have been doodle free." _Don't you dare go away again_, Iruka adds in his head, and he knows Kakashi will understand.

The next morning Kakashi creeps up on him while he's shaving and pulls him back to bed, ignoring all protests. Iruka is twenty minutes late to school and he wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
